I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
