i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
