At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize