You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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