I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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