afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
