butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
