It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize