So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
