I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
