i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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