3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
