youre lurking in front of me
I just saw a hot homeless man
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
