So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
