so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize