It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
