he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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