I think im going to throw up on grandma
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize