Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
