So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
we have officially lost it.
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
