If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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