I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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