You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
