Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
i now understand why vodka
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
