why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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