Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
