Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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