i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize