Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
There's even glitter on my cock...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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