i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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