we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
