ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
