found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
