I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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