I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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