oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize