dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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