So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
