Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
