if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Can I color on your dick again?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
