I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
