I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
