im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
