That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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