To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Randomize
