Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
