All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
