I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize