is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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