its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
