Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
