either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
