You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
the night ended with taco bell and tears
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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