why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
