He is such a slut. More and more my type.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
