I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Acid is not a monday night drug
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
