why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
