I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
