My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
