You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Another day, another engagement, another cat
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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