he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
