I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
