I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
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