I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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