What a fucking waste of an outfit
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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