Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
