She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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