that's an acceptable place to lick
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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