Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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