Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
