Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize