in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
