yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
My feet surprised me
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
