i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize