So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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